Saturday, June 7, 2008
BJT. morning-evening only.
hello people. i just got home from BEDOK JETTY.
yeah. JUST.
amazing right?
did my parents allow it?
NO.
my parents didnt even know i went.
we only reached the jetty arnd 9:30pm?
i knew i shld have left straight then.
but the since-im-taking-a-cab thinking came in.
so was like, i can leave later.
so my tempted heart went with it.
oh Lord, help me with temptations.
so the minute i sat on the bench.
my sorry heart knew i wasnt gonna leave that early.
and since i heard that Zsa's parents were gonna fetch her,
i thought "hey, maybe i could get a ride somewhere less ulu."
but i nvr knew how late they were gonna be.
i kept checking my phone for the bloody time.
11:00. shit. they're still not here.
at 11 plus, father called.
"whr are you?"
"still at bedok jetty"
"HUH!??!?!"
"why you not on the way home yet?"
"cos im still waiting for my friend's dad to come"
"WHY CANT YOU JUST WALK OUT AND TAKE A CAB"
"its dark. and its a very long way out"
"then you shldnt have gone in the first place. i told you that you cant go for fishing"
"i didnt know how to walk out anyway"
"i know you cant be trusted when you go out"
"whatever"
"you nvr think about us. that we're worried about you.
dont ever talk to me about east coast again"
"WHAT!?!?!? NO! I DONT CARE!!!"
*kup*
well who says i dont think you're worried.
im there worrying that you're worried.
im checking my bloody handphone every 5-10mins.
hoping that Zsa's dad would come faster.
we left at arnd 12am? something like that.
on the way out, audreygoh and i were walking tgt,
while the wong family walked tgt
and then audrey started to ask me:
AG: are you close to your parents?
ME: nope. im always in my room, they're always outside.
AG: were you close to them went you were younger?
ME: uhhhhhh. *damn long pause* actually, no.
AG: oh.
ME: i guess thats why im not close to them now. i guess it has to be cultivated from young?
AG: i think so.
well, you nvr guess how much i'll give to be close to my parents.
i'll give up my life if i can.
but nooooooo. it'll nvr happen.
there's just this certain barrier btw us.
they have too many rules and restrictions,
that theres nth much i can talk to them about.
i always have to watch what i say, just in case.
its tough mannn.
it breaks my heart to watch, to hear, how other families can be so tight.
people think im happy and cheerful all the time.
im so high and crazy in school
but thats just it.
its school.
its my time to let loose and be free.
to say what i want, to do what i want.
i do have problems at home.
im silent at home.
now even my poly classmates know how strict my parents are.
but at least its more relaxed than before.
i just hope it'd go further.
and i dont have to wait till im 21.
especially staying over at a chalet.
its damn loser okay.
"are you staying over at the chalet"
"nope."
"why, stay lah."
"parents dont allow"
"oh."
parents dont allow its supposed to be a secondary school phrase mann.
bummer.
and when i got home,
father didnt say anything.
none.
ZILCH.
it felt terribly awfully weird.
i want him to nag all of a sudden.
to tell me off.
to nag.
just dont ignore me.
please, nvr ignore me.
im nvr going to east coast at night again.
EVER.
but wait. they play truth or truth during fishing nights.i dont get to play.whats more, you're not allowed to tell others what is said on that night.so means, im nvr gonna know anything.means, i'll be left out from the clique.cos they'll talk about it, and i'll nvr know what they're talking about.it'll suck shit.maybe i shld drift away from them.and join the other people in the class.or maybe just be alone.sigh.i feel so emo now.goodnight all.ps: thank you for the nice song you played just for me today. (: its damn sweet. you rock my world (:
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