Saturday, June 14, 2008
im back! :D
my blog is once again stagnant.
ive got nth much to blog abt anw.
but i just came back from church retreat.
so its partially why its stagnant.
retreat was fine.
company was great, as always (:
place sucked.
flies and mosquitos bugging everyone . --"
we always ran to seek refuge in the hotel room every chance we got.
programme was fine.
blindfolds again.
scared the shit out of us before we entered,
but it turned out quite meaningful.
futuristic worship is nasty mann.
kinda annoying. hope it never ever happens.
worship at this age is just fine. no need for change.
i didnt jog at all during the retreat.
damnnnnnnnn.
nobody wanted to jog wth me ):
im gonna die the next training. shithead.
mission trip test and training was cancelled.
he thought our hearts werent right to do it.
he felt we didnt take the effort to study.
thats bull. we did wanna study okay.
though we started studying only on that day,
but some of them already studied the week before.
so it wasnt really fair to them.
then we had the talk on the last night as a team.
mann, my heart was empty.
it didnt feel right.
like i didnt wanna go anymore.
everyone was talking about all the miscommunication with him
how we're wronging him
how we're being unfair to him that we're blaming him only
after the major one,
some of us had a smaller talk in the room.
on and on they were going about the miscommunication thing.
and the kept saying its the work of the devil and all.
i was like thinking, come on. not everything is caused by the devil
cos i was thinking that it was doc's character that's causing all these problems
the level of annoyance was increasing.
until i couldnt take it and went:
"why cant people think that its his character that is causing all these problems?"
huge mistake.
jeremy and jonathan started shooting me back.
they said i wasnt supposed to think that way
that its all about miscommunication stuff.
they were defending him like nobody's business.
and i was there like stunned.
i had nothing to say, no one was siding me, so i shut up
my anger and annoyance shot sky high.
after jonathan's prayer, i just walked out and into room 226.
i sat on the bed, and i just blurted out everything i was thinking.
and then i started crying cos i just couldnt take it anymore.
i was thinking to myself if i was hating doc too much.
that everything is HIS FAULT.
why everyone can think that is the miscommunication shit
and its only me that thinks its his fault.
damn,
you'll never know how much i hated myself at that point in time.
i couldnt get over how i could just conclude that its his character that is causing us the trouble
just cos i dislike him because of the youth camp last year.
i like cried on sherrie cos she was just sitting behind me.
so she prayed for me
and i was seriously damn touched. (:
thanks girl. (:
then i stopped crying and thought i was feeling alright alr.
then jonathan and jeremy came in,
woooooo. start all over again. --"
cos i felt bad for saying that sentence.
the 2 of them also stunned.
could see from their face. haha.
we learnt to play 2 new games! :D
sitting ducks and saboteur.
I LOVE SITTING DUCKS.
the ducks damn cute. haha. :D
they're jonathan's games btw.
i love my grouping mann
leaders were ron and penny.
rocks socks please! :D
then our grp members are
me, vic, gabi, jeremy, shawn, lydia, andrew
rocks socks please! :D
best grping out of the 4 grps mann!
tried to suntan on the 2nd last day,
at arnd 5,
pathetic i tell you.
i only laid in the sun for abt 15 mins,
then the sun was setting alr. --"
dumb okay.
retreat has got me thinking.
i need to ask myself this impt qn:
are old feelings coming back? ohmann. im confused now.
Labels: the writings on the old oak tree revealed...