Saturday, August 29, 2009
HELLO
gosh. totally addicted to "hello" by g-d and dara.
ahhh. well, E-X-A-M-S are.....
FINALLY OVER!!! *waves hands in air crazily*
omg. a week of total brain sucking and slp depriving.
came down to the last day of studying on thurs, i had ZERO motivation to study.
i didnt even wanna open up my notes.
words made my head spin.
i had like irritable syndrome that day.
couldnt take it.
but...
I PULLED THRU EXAMS! (:
without breaking down into tiny pieces.
(whether of not i'll take sup paper, is another thing. worry later.)
totally disappointed with my performance during wed's trng.
can i nvr improve?
darn, im like deproving.
the stupid asthma is holding me back.
i keep feeling like i can push myself more,
but im afraid to, in case i cant breathe.
i think im too reliant on it. the whole asthma thing.
i think im using it as an excuse to slack.
DAMN YOU DOTS.
whats wrong with you. ):
plus, you cant catch and throw properly.
and thats like the most basic.
how in the world are you surviving in the netball world.
barely.
im so close to giving up altogether.
ohjoyoftheinternalstruggle.
im sorry you felt so upset today.
im sorry we couldnt do anything abt it.
but i tried.
i tried so hard to cheer you up.
but i guess it didnt help.
i wasnt good enough.
im frustrated.
im frustrated that im so useless.
im frustrated that i cant do smth so simple even though i tried so hard.
why is it so easy for other ppl to cheer someone up
but try as i might, i keep failing.
its not fair.
nth in life is fair.
ohwhatfun.
i feel like im hating myself more and more.