Try If I Must
im trying to intergrate into their group somehow...
seems like its not working well.
it feels weird when im around them.
though we're all happy, laughy,
i feel like they're not willing to open up to me.
im like forcing my way thru,
seems like they cant really communicate with me?
ugghhhh. its so uncomfortable.
maybe i should just stop.
but why am i doing it in the first place?
i really dunno.
but 1 thing's for sure.
i fell away from the old clique.
like a bomb dropping outta a plane.
just being let go...
i feel like no one's interested in talking to me anymore.
im not included in conversations anymore.
they're in their own world, im in my own.
its kinda sad.
i knew it would happen someday.
but i didnt think it'd be this quick.
ah well.
FRIENDS.
once again, k-pop kills.
gosh. 19s camp was horrid.
tired to the max.
just cant be more tired than that.
i just drop flat on my bed after reaching home last night and slept thruout till this morn 630.
YA. 630 okay. ON A SUNDAY.
been waking up at 6 plus for 3 days.
KILLER.
totally reluctant to wake up this morn cos i was so bloody tired.
but made it to church and back awake. ha.
pigged out till 3 w/o changing after getting home.
thats how tired i was.
TIRED is one thing.
BURNT is another.
omg. the stupid sun had to be scorching hot for the past 2 days.
my face now is as burnt as burnt toast.
and its starting to peel too.
i feel like freaking snakerella.
dang. havent looked like this in like what, 2 years?
gosh. ive been moon tanning all this while.
ive become as fair as boiled chicken. -.- (just like Khun says abt himself)
sigh. my knee worries me.
it still hurts.
im just scared its smth major.
it better not be.
i dont wanna suffer & go thru intensive recovery.
my lower back still hurts at random times too.
it has been so long.
why hasnt it recovered?
sickening!
both injuries are holding me back during trngs.
i keep doing less than what i can & keep getting nagged at for it.
im not doing it on purpose okay.
it really does hurt.
i just dont wanna alarm ppl cos its not THAT painful
& i dont wanna seem like im using it as an excuse to stop trng.
trngs are nvr gonna stop, so there's no way i can recover fully.
wait. there's no way that i can even recover.
im so dead. -.-
hmmm. i keep forgetting i need to go to school tmr.
my memory is horrid.
thanks Sheryl for reminding me... :D
quick birthday report since i dont pay much attention to him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNHYUK! :D
Suju's dancer has turned 24! :D
okay, i really think he's an awesome dancer.
love his moves. always do watch out for him if Suju does dance perf.
not really a good rapper though. just enough for Suju to look like it has a rapper.
so keep up the awesome dancing and making Suju a lively group! (:
Suju has like disappeared... Big Bang too...
what's happening to the really hugely famous bands?
they better come back soon.
and come back with a BANG! :D
dots ranted at11:40 PM